sometimes

i like to look at the grades of the people in my class that the teacher posted, and try to pick out who got the A's and the C's. I can already tell who got the B's.
sometimes i'm right. most of the time i'm right.
i hate it when i find out someone who didn't even really try that hard gets an A.
i hate it how people rely on their own intelligence and luck to get a good grade.
i know, i really DON'T try that hard, so i shouldn't be talking. but that doesn't mean i am okay with getting a B.
there was this one person in my chem class that got an A.
i was like "seriously? you? i tried way harder...i thought i did WAY better...how did i get the B? you don't deserve that..."
when people don't get the grade they want, or grade they feel they deserve, they make a big deal out of it.
i dont really care that i got B's in most of my classes.
i deserved them. i didnt work that hard to deserve an A. but i worked hard.
i just dont like it when people go "oh, i failed that test, but its okay. i dont care, i'll still get an A"
or if they go "well, i'm really good at balancing equations, so it was easy for me."
it sounds cocky. like good for you. im happy you are good at something.

ms la once said "do you want a doctor that tried hard or one that earned his grade?"
of course, you want one that earned his grade.
but i think that question is really stupid.
i'll still respect the doctor that tried hard. i'll consider him/her to be a good person. but, the doctor that earned the grade, even if they earned it, did they deserve it?
maybe they are good at medicine, but they dont really care about it.

there was an episode of scrubs that exemplifies my reasoning.
there was an intern who was REALLY smart and on top of things.
but he was lazy and didnt work hard.
dr. cox hated him because he was lazy, but the intern knew that he was doing much better than the other interns, so why should he care?

it isnt just about being talented or good at something. you need to work hard for it, or else its meaningless. dedicated time proves that you actually care.
i dont know. i dont think i deserved an A
but i dont think you deserved one either.
and i think you know it. :\

but on the other hand, maybe that guy in my chem class really needs the A more than i do.
maybe he wants to go to a good college. and maybe that A means more to him than it would to me. im happy he got it. i hope he realizes how lucky he is.

i guess i dont realize how lucky i am either.
i didnt study ONCE for math.
i bs'd every single hw.
i didnt try hard at all.
i spent 10 min at home and time during french writing in random answers.

still. i got a really high A in the class...and 100% on the final...
a lot of people dropped the class because they thought it was too hard.
i guess i never realized...some of them might have stressed more than me...
they might have gotten extra help...they probably actually did their hw...
they probably deserved a better grade.
but i got the A...because i was better at it.

life really isnt fair sometimes.
there was once a post secret that talked about how nobody gives a crap about your highschool GPA.
that secret is my motivation. (: